[Author’s note: I worked for UPS Corporate for about 2.5 years from 2005 to 2007. I made a lot of observations while working there. I thought I’d share them here in a series of never-ending articles. If I end up being assassinated for writing this article, I’ll leave the evidence in that place I left that thing that time before.

1. The people who handle your packages are known internally as “throwers.”
   
2. A UPS driver makes only left-handed turns, unless he’s stopping by to have sex with your wife – then any turn, left or right, is fair game.
   
3. UPS owns the patent to the color Pullman Brown. Any use of this color by anyone else is strictly prohibited.
   
4. Jim Casey, the UPS founder, got his start by delivering heroin to drug addicts, and by tailing people. Of course, in those days, it was all perfectly legal. Today, we would frown upon his shady shenanigans.
   
5. Each year, UPS displays a United Way fundraising progress meter on the wall of the entrance to corporate. Unfortunately, it resembles a giant, engorged penis.
   
6. You are allowed to have a maximum of fifteen items on your desk. In the old days, desk patrol would write tickets for disorderly desks. These days, your boss will indicate violations through passive-aggressive behavior.
   
7. Tyler Perry, playwright and creator of the character Madea, is a former UPS employee.
   
8. UPS is the largest shipper of pornography in the world.
   
9. There is a bell in the UPS lobby. The CEO rings it whenever some major event happens, like a layoff or an acquisition. If you (a non-CEO) ring the bell without a corresponding major event, you’re fired.
   
10. I wasn’t kidding about the roaches in the coffee machine.
    
11. Brad Brown is not Antony Bordoli, but I am jealous of the publicity Antony has received, just for quitting his job.
    
12. The frozen body of founder Jim Casey is in a cryogenic chamber in the documentation archive in the basement at corporate headquarters.
    
13. It’s illegal to send non-urgent letters via UPS. This allows the United States Postal Service to maintain their postal monopoly for the good of mankind.
    
14. UPS employees don’t get discounts on shipping, which is why the majority of UPS employees ship DHL.
    
15. UPS employee badges contain RFID tags, which allow the company to track employee movement throughout every corporate-owned building. If you spend more that five minutes per hour in the bathroom, you are severely penalized.
    
16. UPS was approached by the producers of the movie “Castaway.” The producers asked if UPS wanted to be the shipping company that would appear in the movie. UPS said “no.” FedEx said “yes.” The movie grossed 483 million dollars.
    
17. Some guy (we’ll call him Dick) retired after 35 years. Dick took a celebratory vacation to Hawaii where he promptly died on the fourth hole of his first round of golf after retirement.
    
18. When UPS first opened in Germany, they had a hard time attracting customers due to public perception. They finally determined that they weren’t popular with the Germans because the UPS uniforms looked too much like Hitler’s SS uniforms. Today, German delivery drivers wear red unitards.

A federal jury in Boise on Thursday awarded a Boise man almost $1.5 million award after he claimed United Parcel Service, Inc. fired him in retaliation for reporting federal violations.

In 2007, Darel Hardenbrook filed suit, claiming the company violated state policy by terminating him for reporting federal transportation rule violations. Hardenbrook, a supervisor, said the company required employees to drive trucks after working too many hours.

The jury deliberated less than two hours before returning its verdict. U.S. District Judge Edward J. Lodge presided over the weeklong trial.

IdahoStatesman.com

Lazy Supervisor’s Success Guide

     The company is headed for management from afar. I have predicted for years, that most dispatch, and management functions, will occur in one centralized location, with local managers, or supervisors, on-site just to crack the whip, manage driver issues, and to make sure everyone shows up.
       Jobs they haven’t learned to replace with technology, “yet”. 
  My understanding is, most of these jobs are division level jobs, and that most of these managers are on the “buy out, or get out” bubble.     
         Many of these management people are the major players in the “soul selling” this company has done in the last decade. These are the people that have done away with the “James E. Casey” form of management, and gone strictly to the “bottom line” philosophy of corporate management.
     Sometimes you reap what you sew.
     Telematics is the major reason the company no longer needs these managers. The company will be able to keep one guy, with a whip, to run 50 to 60 people.
     The company, as always, is in a technological transition. The last 5 years have seen incredible changes. Who knows what the next 5 years will bring.
    Management is overhead!

Have you seen a UPS Telematics printout yet?
Do you know what’s coming?
Are you prepared?
There is a website called The Truckingboards where one person had the balls to post up a Telematics Printout. Good going!!
I heartily encourage you go to the site and take a cold hard look at what’s there. You have to scroll down about a third of the way on the page before the pictures start. You’ll know it when you see it.
It shows all the stuff Telematics records and reports on. It’s an actual Telematics printout. It’s sobering that they can gather this much information without ever leaving their warm little offices.
I would never copy and knowingly distribute UPS documents like this.
I almost got fired and dragged into court by UPS for doing that once.
But that’s another story.

I’ve been wanting to write about my experience at UPS for a while now.  I just haven’t gotten around to it.  Why?  Because I’m dog tired exhausted that’s why.

Seriously, UPS is the hardest physical job I’ve ever done.  It’s probably not as hard as many other jobs, or even as hard as some people in third world countries work, but for me, and many others I work with, UPS is very hard work.

I work as a sorter at UPS.  Basically, it’s a job where I have packages of all sizes, and up to 70 pounds, coming at me at a rate of 1200 or more packages an hour.  As such, I’m supposed to sort these packages at at least 1200 an hour.  The average weight of a package is probably somewhere around 25 lbs.  Now that probably doesn’t seem like much, but when you’re there for 4 or more hours a day, and you’re on your 4800th package, even the light packages can start to seem like they’re heavier than what they ought to be.

So the people in the unload, unload semi trailers – some long, some short – as fast as they possibly can (Because at UPS, it’s all about speed and money, not about the person or their safety as much as they’d like to claim it is.  One observation I made, was that what you learned in the “classroom” didn’t seem to apply all that much out on the floor, especially during peak season.  Also, the supervisors seem inconsistent in what rules and regulations they apply.).  These packages get placed on an “extendo,” which is just an extendable conveyor belt that goes the length of the trailer (most of the time), and then they travel to us sorters where we are waiting at a belt that is perpendicular to the extendo belt.  So as a sorter, things look like an upside down T.  These packages then hit a diverter so that they come to you and not to the next guy down the line, you pick up the packages, and place them on one of 6 belts with a total of 12 colors on them (meaning if you don’t get a certain package all the way up against the side of belt on the “side pan” it’s not going to go to the right place.  If this happens, it’s a mis-sort and it’ll most likely come back to your sort aisle making more work for everybody.  It’s not a big deal though, it happens so often because everything is so fast paced that if you have a mis-sort or 9, you just deal with it later).  These belts are perpendicular to you, so you always have to pivot to put the packages on the belts.  3 belts are about waist level with you and flat, and 3 belts are above those.  I’m about 5’7″ tall, and the three upper belts (called transverses) are at about eye level with me.  Those upper belts have a steep incline too.  If the belt is worn down, packages will slide off.  If you place a package on the belt a little bit the wrong way, it may roll, and roll fast, and roll hard.  People could get seriously injured by a “roller.”  Just last week I got conked in the head with about a 10 lb. box from the upper belt.  It made me dizzy and gave me a headache for the rest of the day.

This picture, found on a google image search (belongs to Matt Crowell) is similar to what the aisle that I work on looks like.  We don’t have a big yellow bar on the left though, ours is all open and the belts that do run are higher up, and on the right, where the whitish-grayish bar is, that is about where our “upper transverses (belts)” are.  Someone must have snuck in a cell-phone to take this picture, because except for supervisors, hourly employees (for the most part) aren’t allowed cell phones in the building.

So anyway, there’s the description of the the work area, so why is it so bad to work there?  Mostly, because it is so fast paced, the labor can often be described as “brutal,” and it takes a toll on your body.  There are other reasons as well, but I’ll just mention some.  The sorters often have to handle the boxes two or three times, unlike the unloaders or the loaders.  Often times, our belts will shut off and we have to “stack down” our boxes, all the while trying to keep pace with the unloaders who quite often go way faster than the 1200 per hour.  At UPS, getting those trucks unloaded is the most important thing it seems.  Once the packages are in the building, we can deal with them how we need to, but they need to get off the truck first.  So the supervisors are constantly pushing the unloaders to unload as fast as they can (often without regard to the safe work methods we were taught in the classroom), and they hammer the sorters if we have to stop the unloaders because we can’t keep up.  Most of the time we can as long as we can see the labels on the boxes and the belts are running, but no matter how fast the unloaders unload, I can only sort as fast as the belts move.  So when we stack down, at some point, we have to pick those boxes back up (now from feet level instead of waist level) and put them on the belts.  When this gets really bad (and it does; everyday) we just say that we’re building our igloo (because quite literally, you place boxes all around you to the point that you box yourself in until the flow starts going again).

Sometimes, we get “straight shots.”  These are the same type of packages in a large quantity.  Boxes of paper are the worst.  Usually, they’re 35-40 lbs, they go the upper belts, and there are just enough of them right in a row to make your arms and shoulders feel like they’re going to fall off.  The repetitive nature of straight shots, really no matter how much they weigh, is rough on your body.

This brings me to another reason working at UPS stinks.  The wear and tear on your body.  I have never worked a job where I am this sore ALL the time.  With the up, down, pivot, lift, etc., the amount of calories you burn, the repetitive nature of the job, I am always sore.  My neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, my biceps hurt, my forearms and wrists hurts, my thighs ache, my hamstrings hurt, I got blisters on my toes (only in my first two weeks though), the joints of my fingers hurt (from grabbing boxes all day), I get headaches more often (from working like a dog and only getting a 10 minute break to try to cram down as much food as you can), my back is sore, and I’m simply exhausted after I’m done there.  Some of my co-workers say the same thing, so I’m just not whining because I’m a wimp.  There are people who have been working there for years and they still say that they’re sore.

Have I gotten used to the work?  Yes.  I am definitely stronger and have more muscular endurance than when I first started, but the work is still the same everyday, which means that it kicks your butt!  I’ve been working there for 3 months now, Monday-Friday, and I’m still sore and in pain every day, including the weekends that I’m not working.  UPS is a fast-paced, physical, hard work environment.  It’s hot in the summer, freezing in the winter, loud, dirty, and not fun.  It’s a paycheck.  Literally, that is all it is.  UPS will claim benefits will draw people in, but at least under our current union contract, those don’t start until you’ve been there for 1 year.  You don’t get any paid vacation time until after 1 year.  Basically, you have to be at UPS for at least a year before you can even begin to say that it’s a “good” job.  Problem is, most people don’t stay that long.  Why?  Because the work is brutal, and some of the supervisors are too.  Look, bottom line is, UPS cares about their reputation and their money, not you.  You are a working, expendable grunt to them.  They are hiring nearly every week because the turnover rate is so high.  Of course, UPS doesn’t mind.  They don’t have to pay benefits to people who don’t
stay.

I came to UPS for the paycheck.  I needed to make at least $100 a week to be able to pay for my seminary class.  I found out they have tuition assistance and that draws in a lot of students.  However, don’t plan on getting it right away.  Unless you go to a UPS partner school where they pay the money up front, you have to get reimbursed at the end of the semester and have all the associated paperwork.  But, this process can take 2-6 weeks, and you have to be an employee there to get reimbursed.  So, unless you plan on staying at UPS more than semester, don’t expect to get reimbursed.  I’m not getting reimbursed most likely.  Why is that Jeremy?  Well, because I have found another, better job.  I don’t start this job until January, but if the reimbursement process takes that long, then I won’t get the money anyway.  Now granted, I didn’t start working at UPS because tuition assistance was foremost in my mind; the paycheck was, but potentially getting back $1100 would be nice for sure.  I thought I’d be at UPS longer than what I am going to be when I started, but after about 3 weeks, I started looking for other jobs.  I didn’t look seriously, but one job came up that I just had to apply for.  I ended up getting it.  Overall, it will be a much better job for me than UPS ever was, but I just think it’s sad that I won’t be getting my tuition reimbursement when that is one thing that draws students to UPS.  I think that UPS knows this however.  They know that many students will only stay for one semester.  They draw them in with a tuition assistance program, and then, at the end of fall, they don’t process the paper work until the middle of January, and by that time, the student has left UPS for whatever reason, and oh, UPS doesn’t have to pay the tuition reimbursement because student is not a current employee anymore.

Seriously, on the outside, UPS may seem like a good company to work for, but having only been there 3 months, I’ve seen and heard how UPS cuts corners and deceives (especially its union employees).  They will protect their reputation and their dollar first and foremost, at almost any cost to their employees.  However, I suppose if you’re able to stay on for at least a year, get some seniority under your belt, and are able to get the benefits, it may not be that bad of a job, but it will still be brutally hard work.  The pay may be decent, but I just don’t think that it compensates for the wear and tear on your body.

So, I am not staying at UPS, and I am SO happy about it.  In my new job, the physical work won’t be as brutal, there are some different benefits that are more applicable to me (and I don’t have to wait a year to get them), my boss(es) actually care about me as a person, the environment is much better to work in (both people wise and building wise), and the hours better fit my schedule.

Is UPS really so horrible?  Well, yes, it is.  I could list some good things to say about UPS, as there are a few, but compared to other jobs that are out there, and especially compared to what dedicating 4 years of your life to a college degree can get you, there are much better life options out there than UPS.  UPS, like any other major company, has a great propaganda machine of how great it is to work for them, but the reality is, it is not great and unless you’d be one of the very fortunate few to be lucky enough to have a decent position within the company, UPS is not a great company to work for.

Oh, and one other note too.  Whether you’re shipping UPS or some other company, please, please, please pack your items very well.  Packages get kicked, thrown, stomped on, and somewhat abused at UPS (though I’d say 90% are just fine), and when UPS employees are working like dogs, it’s like one of my co-workers said, “People have to pack their stuff good because I work too hard with not enough pay to care.  Caring is above my pay grade.”  Yep, that about sums it up.  Another UPS employee put it this way, “UPS employees put 8 hours worth of work into a 4 hour day.”  Couldn’t have said it any better myself.

Jeremy Shunk

Here is an interesting and entertaining first hand observation of what it’s like to be a Christmas Helper.

I applied and was hired as a Driver’s Helper and I will admit it was
told to me and all of us up front during an orientation meeting that
we might be working every single day. Be aware that there is not much
information as to the amount of hours one would be able to work and no
information I could find as to the rate of pay.

After the initial orientation you are notified that you have been
hired and are required to attend mandatory training. It is at this
time when we were told of all the great opportunities for working and
making some nice side money over the holidays. In fact we were told
that some new hires were actually taken from after the training and
put to work that very afternoon.

Now that United Parcel has you in training it is then and ONLY then
that you find out that you will be making a mere minimum wage. I work
out religiously in the gym five days a week, so the physical
requirements of the job did not hurt my feelings one bit. I get in a
work-out when I would be working. We then find out about the
appearance and clothing requirements. We have to have no-slip shoes in
black or brown and pants and certain color undershirts and a jacket
since it is obviously the winter season.

Upon completion of a nearly three hour training class we were all
informed that there were no pants and shirts available for the
“required” uniforms. The jacket was not thicker than a common wind-
breaker so since you were required to conform to the clothing
standards, you did not find out until the last minute that you would
have to go out with you own money and buy what amounted to about 80%
of the uniform with no reimbursement offered by United Parcel Service.

You were also told that if you wanted to work you had better be close
to a phone and available between 6:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. each morning
Monday through Friday. We were told dispatch would contact us and tell
us where and when to meet the drivers.

Well friends, as it turns out the entire process turned out to be very
mis-leading and costly both in time and in money and here is why.

I had to buy thermal underclothes and pants as I had nothing in the
“required” colors and as stated before only a wind-breaker jacket was
furnished.

The first two days I stayed next to my telephone / cell for almost
eight hours waiting for a call for work. At about 9:25 a.m. on the
second day I was finally called and offered a measly four hours of
work in an area twelve miles from my requested area of work. All this
at minimum wage.

My theory is, is that UPS over-hires for Holiday Driver’s Helpers
thereby saturating the job pool. When it gets busy they have a bunch
of chumps like me to chose from and we all have to share in a smaller
piece of the pie as concerns hours available for work. When initially
we are told that we have the opportunity to work anywhere from eight
to twelve hours per day.

So in summary, it has been my unfortunate experience that:

If you want to spend your own money buying your own “required” uniform
clothing with no reimbursement and no actual uniform and:

If you want to spend your own “required” time without getting paid
sitting next to your telephone or cell phone waiting for a call that
may or may not come that day to report for work and:

If you want to find out that you are offered only a small number of
hours to work at minimum wage when it has been promoted to you that
you will be REALLY, REALLY, REALLY busy during the holiday rush then:

THIS PIECE-O-CRAP JOB IS FOR YOU!!!! ( If indeed you get to have much
of a job )

I calculated that even being fair to UPS and I was able to work even
six hours a day before Christmas Eve ( which you are “required” to
work ) that I would make a paltry four to five hundred dollars during
December 2009. What a joke. And UPS on their website advertises why
you should come to work for them rather than one of those boring
retail jobs. My son is working in retail part-time during the holidays
and gets steady hours and makes over a dollar more per hour than what
UPS pays.

I found the entire program to be extremely misleading and a borderline
scam. This is coming from someone who REALLY wanted to work. I turned
in the wind-breaker last Friday. To see what “Brown” can do for you, I
would advise you to FLUSH it as soon as possible as this really
stinks. Merry Christmas….NOT!!!

Playball – Placerville California