Stimulus Money Explained




Sometime this year,  we taxpayers will again receive another ‘ Economic
Stimulus’ payment .  
  This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I’ll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:

    Q.  What is an ‘ Economic Stimulus’ payment ?
   A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
    Q..  Where will the government get this money ?
   A.  From taxpayers.
    Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money ?
   A.  Only a smidgen of it.
    Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?
   A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set,  thus stimulating the economy.
   Q.  But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
  A.  Shut up.
    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
Spending your stimulus check wisely:        
        *  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart ,  the money will
Go to China or Sri Lanka …  
       *  If you spend it on gasoline,  your money will go to the
       *  If you purchase a computer,  it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .  
       *  If you purchase fruit and vegetables,  it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..  
       *  If you buy an efficient  car,  it will go to Japan or Korea .   
 *         If  you purchase useless stuff,  it will go to Taiwan .  
       *  If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,  it will go
To management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.  
    Instead,  keep the money in America by:
   1)  Spending it at yard sales ,  or      
   2)  Going to ball games,  or    
   3)  Spending it on prostitutes,  or      
   4)  Beer or      
   5) Tattoos.
   (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
  Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
Sale and drink beer all day !