Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another ‘ Economic
Stimulus’ payment .
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an ‘ Economic Stimulus’ payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
Spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart , the money will
Go to China or Sri Lanka …
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
To management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales , or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
Sale and drink beer all day !